But it is good in all tymes, to beare about you preciouse stones, (yf ye have them) speciallye a iacincte, a rubie, a garnet, an emeralde, or a saphyre, whiche hath a special vertue agaynst the pestilence, & they be the stronger, yf they be borne upon youre naked skinne, chieflye upon the fourth finger of the left hande, for that hath greate affinitie with the hert above other membres.
The Regiment of Lyfe, Whereunto is Added a Treatise of the Pestilence
How to Avoid the Plague, 1595
Whosoever eateth two Walnuts, two Figs, twenty leaves of Rew, and one graine of Salt, all stampt and mixte together, fasting: shall bee safe from poyson and Plague that day.
Thomas Lupton, A Thousand Notable Things
How to Avoid the Plague, 1630
There be some, who thinke it a great preservative against the pestilent Aire to keepe a Goat in their houses, because the capacitie of the Houses filled with the strong sent which the Goat sends forth, prohibits the entrance of the venemous Aire… All publike and great meetings and assemblyes must be shunned.
A Treatise of the Plague
How to Avoid the Plague, 2022
Eat deworming drugs meant for 1,500-pound horses. Inject bleach into your lungs. Pay attention to "very impressive" and "spectacular" doctors who warn against having sex with demons in your dreams. Drink your own piss.
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