Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Trump's Reply To DOJ Admits He Unlawfully Possessed Top Secret Documents, But It's Not Clear His Lawyers Realize What They've Said; Meanwhile, A Frantic Trump Keeps Confessing To Crimes; He Now Admits He Stored Cartons Of Classified Documents In His Home

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

MAGA Mnemonics

A few Twitter comments:
They're literally doing what 1st grade teachers do to make it easier for kids to understand simple things.

But those usually make more sense

This is going to be too complicated for their followers.

Like his simple-minded viewers will remember this? I can picture them all furiously grabbing their crayons to take notes.

A republican candidate is going to say this in a debate and no normal people will have any idea what they're talking about.

Same energy:

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Big Massive Dumps & Tiny Mushroom Dicks

"Trump Often Soiled His Pants On The Apprentice Show, Wore Diapers", Claims Comedian Noel Casler 
November 28, 2020 

Noel Casler worked on "The Celebrity Apprentice" for nearly six years. He says Trump would often soil himself on set and everything would stop until Trump changed his diaper. It was Keith Schiller's job to take Trump offset and wipe him down. "Our nickname for Keith was 'Wet Wipes'. It's not a joke. It's happened several times." 
[Trump has been wearing] diapers since probably the '90s. . . . He's incontinent from all the speed, all the Adderall he does, the cocaine that he has done for decades. All that stuff has a laxative effect on your bowels and his are uncontrollable. . . . 

One time there was the word "arbitrage" on a cue card and he started screaming that the script department was setting him up. "You're setting me up!" And he just freaked out and then very loudly evacuated his bowels and you could smell it. And the guy who was holding the boom mic was tearing up. And that's where the nickname the "Shitshow" came from. That was the crew nickname for Celebrity Apprentice.

* * *

Friday, August 26, 2022

Trump Should Be Sentenced To 966 Years In Federal Prison
(Applying The Reality Winner Standard, Since Everyone Is Equal Under The Law In The US)


Reality Winner was in possession of one classified document. In August 2018, she was sentenced to five years and three months in federal prison, the longest sentence ever imposed for unauthorized release of government information (Winner leaked an intelligence report about Russian interference in the 2016 US elections to the media).

Donald Trump was in possession of (at least) 184 classified documents. Since everyone should be treated equally under the US justice system, Donald Trump should be sentenced to . . . 63 months (for one document) times 184 documents . . . 11,592 months in federal prison. That's exactly 966 years.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Lindell: One "Billion" People Would Watch Voter Fraud Summit;
On Saturday, He Was Off By Only 999,999,940.

Tina Peters, a Mesa County, Colorado, clerk and the star speaker of Mike Pillow's latest vote fraud symposium two-day clown show, was prohibited from attending after being indicted for allegedly breaching voting machines (she hired people to tamper with the machines and copy software).
Another speaker, a Wisconsin sheriff that Lindell flew to the event, apparently went missing. Lindell vowed to find the sheriff. (Foul play by the deep state?)

Lindell promised one "billion" people would tune in this weekend to hear his (non-existent) evidence of 2020 vote fraud. On Saturday morning, at 9:30 a.m., 28 people were watching. Just past noon, that number had ballooned to 60 people.

Saturday, August 20, 2022

"Moment Of Truth" Summit In Missouri This Weekend: Pillow Man Promises Upcoming Court Ruling On New Vote Fraud "Evidence", Says Election Denier Event "Will Be One Of The Most Important Events In History", Claims A "Billion" People Will Be Watching


Wednesday, August 17, 2022

The Stable Genius

"Magnify His Excellence 10x More!"

Monday, August 15, 2022

Eric Attempts To Tell A "Sir Story", But Omits Big, Strong Men With Tears In Their Eyes Who Had Never Cried Before, Even When They Were Babies

'Sir' Alert: This One Word Is A Telltale Sign Trump Is Being Dishonest (CNN, July 17, 2019)

Trump Seems To Be Called 'Sir' In All Of His Inaccurate Stories (Vice, October 3, 2019)

Sunday, August 14, 2022

"By Copy Of This TRUTH"


Look up "A Lawyer's Worst Nightmare" in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of Donald Trump, an an monumentally stupid man who is in love with the sound of his own voice and cannot stop lying anytime he speaks.

In this statement, posted at his failed Twitter rip-off (Troth Senchal), Trump inadvertently confesses to being in possession of stolen material. As Teri Kanefield, a former appellate defense attorney, suggested, "Someone needs to tell him he has the right to remain silent."

I can't imagine why Trump didn't say this immediately rather than insisting that he possessed zero government documents and the entire proceeding was a WITCH HUNT and a hoax.

(Also: Russian State TV is boasting that Putin and other officials have been "studying" Trump's stolen nuclear documents "for a while". The Russians could be bluffing, but recall that Yuri Shvets, a former high-ranking member of the KGB, claimed Donald Trump was cultivated as a Russian asset 40 years ago. "The feeling was that he was extremely vulnerable intellectually, and psychologically, and he was prone to flattery. This is what they exploited.")

And: "Still not one interview from Trump since the search. No Fox, no Newsmax, no OAN, no Podcasters, no Lindell TV, no nothing. . . . Still banging out those posts on Truth Social though - where nobody can ask him a question." Instead, we have heard "a Rolodex of reasons . . . [each] increasingly less rooted in reality" why Trump is innocent:
The [latest] claim added two new excuses to his and his supporters' ever-evolving list of reasons as to why the raid was unlawful, inappropriate, fruitless, overly intrusive, no big deal, or a mix of all five. . . .

Trump's children initially stated the FBI wouldn't find anything, and that Trump returned everything he was supposed to earlier this year. Once news broke that the National Archives knew of additional material still at his Florida estate, Trump claimed officials only needed to ask for them back and he would have happily complied (despite Trump being issued [and ignoring] a subpoena). Trump lawyers then began to float ideas that the FBI planted evidence at the compound, only to turn around and claim that Trump probably declassified — or could have declassified — the material. . . .

Some argued Trump had a standing order to declassify everything he took with him to the White House residence, and Trump himself wrote how "it was all declassified." No documentation has surfaced to support that claim . . . Kash Patel, a former Trump administration official, said on Fox Business Network . . . "He can literally stand over to the documents and say these are now declassified and that is done with definitive action immediately."

It echoed comments Patel made to Breitbart News last week, where he said the documents had been declassified yet the markings had not been updated. "Trump declassified whole sets of materials in anticipation of leaving government that he thought the American public should have the right to read themselves," he said. He did not explain why Trump never bothered to release these documents nearly two years after he lost the 2020 election.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

"Defund (& Abolish) The FBI": The Hypocrisy Is Breathtaking
Trump, September 28, 2016: "If You're Innocent, Why Are You Taking The Fifth Amendment?
Trump, August 10, 2022: Pleaded The Fifth Amendment 440+ Times In NY AG Case

William Saletan, formerly of Slate, now at The Bulwark, has compiled an impressive list of some of the "shameless backflips" by far-right lawmakers and media figures in the wake of the FBI's search of Trump's "spider hole". The shameless hypocrisy of the Trump Cult is on full display. Some examples:
* * *

William M. Arkin, Newsweek, August 10, 2022:
The raid on Mar-a-Lago was based largely on information from an FBI confidential human source, one who was able to identify what classified documents former President Trump was still hiding and even the location of those documents, two senior government officials told Newsweek. . . .

According to news reports, some 10-15 boxes of documents were removed from the premises [these are in addition to the 15 boxes of stolen documents Trump returned to the National Archives in approximately January 2022]. Donald Trump said in a statement that the FBI opened his personal safe as part of their search. Trump attorney Lindsey Halligan, who was present during the multi-hour search, says that the FBI targeted three rooms — a bedroom, an office and a storage room. That suggests that the FBI knew specifically where to look.
Trump admitted online on Wednesday to illegally possessing boxes of top secret government documents at his Florida estate (though I doubt he realizes he confessed). He also admitted he was keeping those top secret documents in an unsecured room -- and two months ago, he allegedly voluntarily gave FBI agents a tour of the storage room (against the advice of his lawyers) and told them to come back anytime.

That is a felony, punishable by five years in prison. Back in 2018, Trump signed a national security bill that increased the punishments for anyone who mishandles classified information (such as secretly stealing boxes of them and storing them in an unsecure basement in your house). ("Hoist with his own petard; and 't shall go hard")
* * *

Donald Trump, 1990: Pleaded the Fifth Amendment 97 times when asked approximately 100 questions regarding marital infidelity during depositions in the divorce proceedings with his first wife, Ivana, who is currently buried near the first tee on his golf course.

Donald Trump, September 28, 2016: "Her [Hillary Clinton's] staffers taking the Fifth Amendment, how about that? . . . So there are five people taking the Fifth Amendment like you see on the mob, right? You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you're innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?

Donald Trump, August 10, 2022: Pleaded the Fifth Amendment more than 440 times in a four-hour deposition as part of the New York Attorney General's investigation into his shady-as-fuck business practices.

Trump deigned to answer exactly one question -- he stated his name.

* * *

Monday, August 08, 2022

An Entire Snowbank Of Far-Right Flakes Gets Triggered By FBI Search Of Trump's Home

August 8, 2022 was quite a day for Trump news.

The New Yorker published a lengthy article outlining Trump's rocky relationship with top military leaders at the Pentagon. At one point, Trump demanded to know why they could not be as loyal to him as Nazi officers were to Adolf Hitler?

Axios published two photographs purporting to show ripped up White House documents, with Trump's handwriting on them, clogging a toilet.

Matthew DePerno, the Trump-approved Republican nominee for attorney general in Minnesota, allegedly led an intricate scheme to gain unauthorized, and illegal, access to the state's voting machines after the 2020 election. . . . Just the latest in a long example of how the only people credibly accused (or who pleaded guilty and were convicted) of vote fraud in 2020 are members of the Trump Cult.

Paul Manafort, Trump's 2016 campaign chairman, publicly admitted giving "sensitive information on polling and campaign strategy . . . meant to show how Clinton was vulnerable" to a Russian intelligence agent.

Oh, and the FBI conducted a raid on Trump's home in Florida -- and a whole snowbank of far-right flakes were triggered. Nearly 50 unhinged tweets from the usual gang of idiots -- it's fucking amazing! A seemingly never-ending whine-fest featuring calls to dismantle the FBI (aka, defund the police?), accustions of the US being a third-world country (honestly, it's well on its way), and the usual far-right demands for terrorism, death, and war. Fox, always devoid of objectivity, vented about what will happen "when we get power back". Trump, who was not present during the raid, likened the federal-judge-approved search warrant to Watergate: "They even broke into my safe!" On Twitter, some clown announced: "Tomorrow is war. Sleep well." and got this reply: "lol i'm totally gonna war but a man needs his seven hours".

All this comes less than a week after we learned Trump buryed his dead first wife in a corner near the first tee of his New Jersey golf course (pictures showed a cheap, flat-on-the-ground stone on a rectangle of dirt) so he can claim the property as a cemetery and avoid paying taxes.

This also did not age well:

That tweet is still up.


Tucker Carlson ‘Shitting Himself’ Scared That His Alex Jones Texts May Leak

Alex Jones Sent A Nude Photo Of His Wife To Roger Stone

At CPAC Last Weekend, A Large Banner Admitted: "We Are All Domestic Terrorists"

Thursday, August 04, 2022

Schadenfreude: MAGA Edition

Alex Jones' Damning Texts ACCIDENTALLY Sent to Sandy Hook Lawyer
Justin Rohrlich, The Daily Beast, August 3, 2022 (my emphasis)
A day after far-right conspiracy-monger Alex Jones was scolded by a judge for chewing gum in the courtroom, opposing lawyers dropped a bombshell revelation they said proved the embattled InfoWars host has been lying on the stand.

Jones testified on Wednesday for the second time in attempting to fend off one of many defamation lawsuits brought by families affected by the Sandy Hook massacre. They are seeking at least $150 million from Jones and his bankrupt media company, Free Speech Systems. Numerous parents of children killed in the 2012 school shooting blame Jones for spreading falsehoods and disinformation about the tragedy that brought on ceaseless abuse, harassment, and death threats.

On Tuesday, Jones insisted, under oath, that he had fully complied with the court's discovery process, and that there were no text messages on his phone in which he discussed Sandy Hook, as the other side had requested.

On Wednesday, attorney Mark Bankston informed a seemingly stunned Jones that he had evidence this was untrue.

"Did you know [that] 12 days ago your attorneys messed up and sent me an entire digital copy of your entire cell phone, with every text message you've sent for the past two years?" he asked. "And when informed, [they] did not take any steps to identify it as privileged, or protected in any way?" . . .

Bankston continued, "In discovery, you were asked if you had Sandy Hook text messages on your phone, and you said, 'No.' Correct?" Bankston asked. "You said that under oath."

Jones replied, "If I was mistaken, I was mistaken. You've got the text messages right there."

"You know what perjury is, right?" Bankston shot back. "I just want to make sure before we go any further... You testified under oath that you personally searched your phone for the phrase 'Sandy Hook,' and [said] there were no messages...You lied."

"No, I did not lie," Jones answered.

Previously, Jones testified that he didn't use email so he would not be providing any during discovery. However, Bankston stunned Jones again on Wednesday by displaying his own emails as evidence—which also came from Jones' phone.

"You'd agree these are emails you sent to your lawyers, your staff, and others, concerning your business operations, Sandy Hook, [and] other topics… ?"

Jones responded, "This is ridiculous." . . .

Bankston then played footage of Jones calling Sandy Hook a concocted scheme by the government.

"Sandy Hook [was] 'synthetic,' completely fake, with actors, in my view," Jones said in the clip. "Manufactured. I couldn't believe it at first. I knew they had actors, they are clearly, but I thought they killed some real kids. And it just shows how bold they are, that they clearly used actors, I mean, they even ended up using photos of kids killed in mass shootings… in a fake mass shooting in Turkey. Or, uh, Pakistan." . . .

In closing arguments, which began Wednesday afternoon, plaintiff's co-counsel Kyle Farrar called the last 10 years "the most horrific decade of disinformation in American history."

And while Jones has a constitutional right to say whatever he likes, he still must be held accountable for the consequences of any harmful statements.

"Speech is free," Farrar told the jury, "but you have to pay for your lies."
But, wait . . . there's MORE!