Friday, August 27, 2021

Is Rudy A Drunk? "I Have Sometimes – I Mean, I Drink Normally. I Like Scotch. I Drink Scotch. I Don't Believe It – I Know I'm Not, I Mean, I – No, I'm Not An Alcoholic. I'm A Functioning – I'm Probably – I Probably Function More Effectively Than 90% Of The Population." (Well, That's Settled, Then.)

Rudy Giuliani was so 'incredibly drunk' on election night that Trump aides worried he'd smash valuable White House china, Michael Wolff says 

Problem Solved. . . . Next!

Thursday, August 26, 2021

ISIS-X — Now With 27% More ISIS!

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Tuesday, August 24, 2021

RIP Charlie Watts (1941-2021)

Charlie Watts died today in London. He was 80 years old.

I loved playing with Keith and the band — I still do — but I wasn't interested in being a pop idol sitting there with girls screaming. It's not the world I come from. It's not what I wanted to be, and I still think it's silly.

Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts, stylish and unflappable, seemed forever bemused by the antics of singer Mick Jagger, perhaps best illustrated in the band's 1981 video for "Start Me Up". Jagger refuses to half-ass his lip-synching performance, mugging and dancing and gyrating, while also making fun of the entire process. Shots of guitarists Keith Richards and Ron Wood (playing along, acting a bit like street toughs, yowling some background vocals) and bassist Bill Wyman (wearing his usual placid expression) are interspersed. And there is Watts, half-smirking behind his kit at what these nearly 40-year-old men are doing in front of him. He remains dead-panned for most of the song, but finally cracks a smile (at 2:47, after we see Jagger particularly rubber-faced, and again at 3:00), as though he simply cannot believe this is how he's earning his living.

"Do You Think God Can Hear Your Prayers Through A Mask?"

Televangelist bozo and professional con man Jim Bakker, who has made a very lucrative living swindling gullible people out of their savings (and was convicted on two dozen counts of wire and mail fraud for doing so), has reportedly stated that God cannot hear prayers through a mask.

How can you go to church and pray when you're wearing a mask? Do you think God can hear your prayers through a mask?

Does that mean God wears a mask on his ears? (Does God even have ears?) What if someone has been abducted and is now gagged? What about someone praying while being waterboarded? Does God only have trouble with spoken words that are filtered through cloth? What if you are wearing a motorcycle helmet or are in a submarine or are fixing something under your sink? How did God get to be God if he is so pathetic and lame?

Also, how does God hear and process thousands of prayers that are offered at the exact same time across the planet? Is there some sort of heavenly queue in which they are placed? What if God has stepped away from the Prayer Center and is busy checking the delivery of a shipment of new harps? Does God employ temps to sort through the never-ending list of incoming prayers to weed out the silly ones? Looking online, I learned I was not the only confused person. Other people also had questions:

Does that also mean God can't hear your prayers when you're hooked up to a ventilator?

So they say he can has enough power to protect you from Covid, but not enough to hear through a mask, which even we mortals can do?

I'm no scriptural scholar, but I think the original text of Matthew 6:6 was: "But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place (but for christ's sake remember to not wear a mask because your Father won't be able to hear a fucking thing) . . ."?

Considering the unrelenting evil in the world over the last, oh, let's limit it to only the last 1,000 years, I'd say "God" has been unable to hear a lot of prayers made through a number of different materials.

In March 2020, Jim Bakker and Morningside Church Productions were sued by the state of Missouri for promoting some snake oil called "Silver Solution" that Bakker claimed had been "proven by the government [to] kill every pathogen it has ever been tested on", including the coronavirus. The magical Silver Solution was offered to viewers who contributed $80-$125. Bakker later agreed to pay restitution of $156,000 to settle the lawsuit.

Bakker was the long-time host of The PTL Club before spending several years in prison after being convicted of 24 counts of wire and mail fraud for swindling millions of dollars from his viewers. Bakker was initially sentenced to 45 years in prison, but that sentence was reduced to eight years and he was paroled after serving fewer than five years. Bakker's attorney at that time was (an interesting tidbit, but most certainly no surprise) Alan Dershowitz.

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Trump Praises Taliban, Promises Stolen Election Evidence Will Emerge Soon, Gets Booed For Recommending Vaccine In Alabama Town That's Under Covid-19 State Of Emergency

Trump Supporters Have "No Balls"
(They Also Do Not Understand "Alphabetical Order")


Are You Ready For Clown Time?

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Thursday, August 19, 2021

Expressing Support For The Taliban (And A Corresponding Hatred Of, And Desire To Destroy, The US) Is The New Litmus Test Of A "True Republican"

Marjorie Nazi Greene, a fervent believer in only the most loopy, ludicrous conspiracies and a pro-treason dolt who enjoys harassing the teenaged survivors of school massacres (if she's not claiming the shooting never took place) and has encouraged the murder of prominent Democrats and says MAGA supporters should pull guns on (and possibly kill) vaccination volunteers, gives additional evidence of her refinement:

Joe Biden, you're not a president — you're a piece of shit.

Lauren Boebert, a seditionist imbecile whose tweets on January 6 regarding Nancy Pelosi's location were functioned as a roadmap for the murderous mob who wanted to assassinate the Speaker of the House, and the wife of a man who exposed himself to underage children, who is currently facing allegations of financial corruption and misuse of public funds, proudly proclaimed her support for the Taliban this week (and doubled down on her praise when criticized for it).

Matt Gaetz, currently being federally investigated as a child sex trafficker (among other crimes) and described as "a literal pedophile" by his soon-to-be sister-in-law (she later amended that label to the more-accurate "ephebophile"), believes the Taliban offers a more legitimate form of government than the United States.

Oh, by the way, Jennifer Carnahan, the head of the Minnesota GOP, faces calls to resign after a chapter chair of the Minnesota College Republicans and a Republican strategist and former congressional campaign manager were both arrested on charges of underage sex trafficking (and obstruction of justice), but Carnahan, who also also allegedly presided over a toxic workplace with unchecked sexual harassment, claims (in true GOP styleshe is the real victim here.

Mo Brooks, one of the main architects of the deadly January 6 insurrection and a chickenshit who is currently embroiled in litigation over his sedition, expressed sympathy for a man who threatened to bomb the Library of Congress.

They send only their best.

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Floyd Ray Roseberry, the 49-year-old domestic terrorist who threatened on Thursday to detonate a bomb at the US Capitol shared an anti-Biden video that was posted to Facebook by Donald Trump Jr. Roseberry attended StopTheSteal rallies, is adamantly anti-mask, is pissed that transgender people are serving in the military, and has a general hatred of the Democrats (okay, so he's not 100% off-the-rails).

He stated: "The revolution is on. It's here . . . I'm ready to die for the cause." (However, due to his white skin, he was not killed by law enforcement today, thus denying him an opportunity to die for "the cause".) His now-deleted Facebook feed featured right-wing and white nationalist opinions and he supports various groups, including White Lives Matter, Fox News [sic], US Patriot News, We Are TRUMP Nation, Donald Trump, and Donald Trump Jr.
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The most popular news broadcaster in the United States continues to spread the racist (and false) "replacement" theory. A definition:
The white genocide, white extinction, or white replacement conspiracy theory is a white supremacist conspiracy theory which states that there is a deliberate plot, often blamed on Jews, to promote miscegenation, interracial marriage, mass non-white immigration, racial integration, low fertility rates, abortion, governmental land-confiscation from whites, organised violence, and eliminationism in white-founded countries in order to cause the extinction of whites through forced assimilation, mass immigration, and violent genocide. Less frequently, black people, Hispanics, and Muslims are blamed, but merely as more fertile immigrants, invaders, or violent aggressors, rather than the masterminds of a secret plot.
Carlson has been pushing and defending this unfounded and incorrect racist theory into the mainstream for months, earning praise from Neo-Nazis while being supported by his Fox bosses. This racist belief is fast becoming part of the Republican platform.

Jesus, He Is So Fucking Stupid

Trump says it's "illegal for me to say" whether he's running for president in 2024. Who knows, he might actually believe that. Every single time you think he's exposed the absolute depth of his stupidity, he managed to go a bit deeper. It's his only skill.

It's not illegal, of course. But Trump knows that saying he's not running would put the brakes on his ongoing con of his ignorant supporters and he needs to grift those tens of millions of dollars to pay for his court cases regarding multiple charges of corruption.

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

QAnon-Seditionist Lauren Boebert Votes To Abandon Afghan Allies, Then Cheers As They Fall To Their Deaths While Reiterating Her Undying Support For The Taliban

* * * South Korea, by the way, I got them to pay billions and billions of dollars, billions — we're protecting South Korea, they're very wealthy, they build the ships, they build the televisions, they build — they do everything. They are a very rich — they were paying us nothing — I got them to pay billions and billions of dollars . . . [or not]

Friday, August 13, 2021


Thursday, August 12, 2021

Lindell's Fraudapallooza, Day 3: After His Cyber Expert Admits He Cannot Polish The "Turd" Of Alleged Election Fraud, The Unhinged Pillow Man Ponders His Next Con While Claiming (Without Details Or Evidence) "Antifa" Attacked Him At His Hotel

Lindell says he was "aggressively poked" (AP's words) by someone seeking a selfie. "He put his arm around and stuck his finger, it was so much pressure, I just knew if I did anything something more was coming." Lindell claimed still to be in serious pain the next day.


Day 3

Undeterred! The Grift Must Go On!

COVID Surge Response? "We Can't Live Forever."

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

On Day 2 Of His Batshit Insane Conference, Lindell Demands Media "Stop Fact-Checking" His Claims And Just Report Them. Later, He Runs Off-Stage After Hearing News Of Trump-Appointed Judge Ruling Multi-Billion Dollar Defamation Sits Against Lindell, Powell, And Giuliani Can Proceed

Lindell demands US media "start reporting this stuff and stop fact-checking it"!

The document refusing to dismiss Dominion's lawsuits is here.

Lindell also says Trump will be reinstated as president in/on:
late November 2020,
December 2020,
January 6, 2021,
January 20, 2021,
March 4, 2021,
March 20, 2021,
August 13, 2021,
September 2021,
or maybe November 2021?