Trump Phoned His Press Secretary From Air Force One To Insist His Penis Was Not Small And Not Shaped Like A Toadstool; He Also (Reportedly) Had A Colonoscopy Without Anesthesia Because His Ego Would Not Permit Pence To Be Assigned Presidential Power Even For One Hour (He Also Kept The Procedure Secret Because He Was Afraid Of Being Ridiculed)

Trump's Press Sec: He Called Me to Insist His Penis Wasn't Toadstool-Shaped

The harrowing detail appears to be one of many from the upcoming book written by Trump's former press secretary Stephanie Grisham.
Jamie Ross, The Daily Beast, September 28, 2021

Three years ago, adult-film star Stormy Daniels scarred us all forever by describing Donald Trump's penis as being like "a toadstool." She wrote in her 2018 book, which dished the dirt on her alleged affair with the ex-president: "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart."

Well, according to Trump's former White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, that truly hideous description didn't go down very well with Trump either. The Washington Post reports that Grisham writes in her new book that Trump once felt the need to call her from Air Force One to inform her that his penis was neither small nor shaped a toadstool.

The anecdote is just one of several mind-blowing details from the Post's new account of Grisham's upcoming book, I'll Take Your Questions Now. Here are some of the others:

Trump allegedly told Putin that his tough-guy act was all for show

Grisham recounts a meeting between Trump and Vladimir Putin in Japan in 2019 where he allegedly admitted to the Russian president that he was being mean to him to impress the news cameras. At that G-20 meeting in Osaka, Trump wagged his finger at Putin and told him: "Don't meddle in the election." In her book, Grisham recalls seeing Trump tell Putin: "I'm going to act a little tougher with you for a few minutes. But it's for the cameras, and after they leave, we'll talk. You understand."

Grisham writes Trump hid a colonoscopy appointment because he was worried about butt jokes

Trump's unexplained trip to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in 2019 sparked theories that the president had a secret illness. The explanation, according to Grisham, is much more straightforward. She hints that Trump went for a colonoscopy, but didn't disclose the reason for the trip because he didn't want to be "the butt of a joke" on late-night TV.

Later in the book, she writes that Trump underwent a procedure—she doesn't name it but The New York Times reports that it was the colonoscopy—without anesthesia because he was too egotistical to temporarily assign power to the vice president. "As with COVID, he was too wrapped up in his own ego and his own delusions about his invincibility," she writes.

Trump supposedly cuts his own hair with a massive pair of scissors

According to the Post, Grisham's book spills details about Trump's hair-care routine—including the claim that he cuts his own hair. Grisham writes in her book that Trump carries around "a huge pair of scissors that could probably cut a ribbon at an opening of one of his properties."

Staff are said to have lied to Trump so Air Force One could be used to transport George H.W. Bush's casket

When former President George H. W. Bush died in 2018, White House staff wanted to follow tradition to allow the Bush family use of Air Force One. But, according to Grisham, they hid that plan from Trump. "We knew he wouldn't be OK with that, even for a brief trip," Grisham writes. "Dead bodies, death, sickness—those things really seemed to creep him out." In the end, the plane was loaned to the Bushes for the funeral.

Trump allegedly ogled an unnamed female staffer

Aside from the aforementioned toadstool call, Grisham repeatedly alleges that Trump was sexually inappropriate in her presence. She claims that Trump asked her then-boyfriend, who also worked for him, to rate her sexual performance. Grisham also writes that Trump was obsessed with one unnamed female press aide, and allegedly once demanded she was brought to him on Air Force One so he could "look at her [behind]." . . .

The Guardian, September 18, 2018:

[Daniels's book, Full Disclosure, contains] a detailed description of Daniels' alleged tryst with Trump at a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe, California. In the book, Daniels writes in sometimes excruciating detail about the president's genitals and describes her disgust with herself for letting the scene play out. . . .

Whenever she saw Trump on television for years afterwards, Daniels writes, an internal monologue would play out: "'I had sex with that,' I'd say to myself. Eech." . . .

Daniels attended a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe, in 2006, where she and two colleagues greeted golfers between holes. There she first sees Trump . . . 

Trump's bodyguard invites Daniels to dinner, which turns out to be an invitation to Trump’s penthouse . . .

She describes Trump's penis as "smaller than average" but "not freakishly small".

"He knows he has an unusual penis," Daniels writes. "It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool … I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart ... It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had . . ."

Jada Yuan and Josh Dawsey, Washington Post, September 28, 2021:

[Grisham] worked as the president's third press secretary and as first lady Melania Trump's chief of staff and communications director before she resigned on Jan. 6 during the Capitol riot. . . .

As press secretary, Grisham was often unresponsive, and never once held a news briefing. . . .

But Grisham is undeniably one of the Trump originals. She was wrangling reporters on the campaign plane in 2016, before working her way into the Trumps' inner circles. And she is still viewed widely as a consummate Trump insider. . . .

A major theme of the book is the culture of lies that pervaded Trump's administration. "Casual dishonesty filtered through the White House as if it were in the air conditioning system," Grisham writes. . . .

Grisham also discloses that Trump didn't want to ban travel to China in the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, despite his later claims that he did. Grisham writes that "the upcoming election influenced every decision Trump made about the pandemic." . . .

Trump behaved inappropriately with Grisham, too, she wrote — once calling her from Air Force One to assure her that his penis was not small or toadstool-shaped, as the porn star Stormy Daniels had alleged in an interview.

Grisham wrote that Trump once asked her then-boyfriend, a fellow Trump aide, if she was good in bed. . . .

Grisham writes that Ivanka [Trump] and Jared [Kushner] tried to push their way into meeting Queen Elizabeth II alongside the president and first lady, a wild breach of protocol on a state visit, but were thwarted when they couldn't fit into the helicopter. "I finally figured out what was going on," Grisham writes. "Jared and Ivanka thought they were the royal family of the United States." . . .

The airing of Trump's alleged affair with porn star Stormy Daniels is what "unleashed" Melania Trump to start publicly contradicting or ignoring her husband — trying to embarrass him as he had embarrassed her. She walked into his first State of the Union address arm-in-arm with a handsome military aide . . .

[W]hen Grisham drafted a tweet for Melania requesting privacy, saying she was concentrating on being a mother, wife and first lady, she had Grisham remove the word "wife."