"Do You Think God Can Hear Your Prayers Through A Mask?"

Televangelist bozo and professional con man Jim Bakker, who has made a very lucrative living swindling gullible people out of their savings (and was convicted on two dozen counts of wire and mail fraud for doing so), has reportedly stated that God cannot hear prayers through a mask.

How can you go to church and pray when you're wearing a mask? Do you think God can hear your prayers through a mask?

Does that mean God wears a mask on his ears? (Does God even have ears?) What if someone has been abducted and is now gagged? What about someone praying while being waterboarded? Does God only have trouble with spoken words that are filtered through cloth? What if you are wearing a motorcycle helmet or are in a submarine or are fixing something under your sink? How did God get to be God if he is so pathetic and lame?

Also, how does God hear and process thousands of prayers that are offered at the exact same time across the planet? Is there some sort of heavenly queue in which they are placed? What if God has stepped away from the Prayer Center and is busy checking the delivery of a shipment of new harps? Does God employ temps to sort through the never-ending list of incoming prayers to weed out the silly ones? Looking online, I learned I was not the only confused person. Other people also had questions:

Does that also mean God can't hear your prayers when you're hooked up to a ventilator?

So they say he can has enough power to protect you from Covid, but not enough to hear through a mask, which even we mortals can do?

Powerful enough to create the entire universe but so weak as to be defeated by a few inches of cloth.

Bakker is making a good case for atheism.

— Thomas Jamison (@ThomasJsmison) August 21, 2021

I'm no scriptural scholar, but I think the original text of Matthew 6:6 was: "But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place (but for christ's sake remember to not wear a mask because your Father won't be able to hear a fucking thing) . . ."?

Considering the unrelenting evil in the world over the last, oh, let's limit it to only the last 1,000 years, I'd say "God" has been unable to hear a lot of prayers made through a number of different materials.

In March 2020, Jim Bakker and Morningside Church Productions were sued by the state of Missouri for promoting some snake oil called "Silver Solution" that Bakker claimed had been "proven by the government [to] kill every pathogen it has ever been tested on", including the coronavirus. The magical Silver Solution was offered to viewers who contributed $80-$125. Bakker later agreed to pay restitution of $156,000 to settle the lawsuit.

Bakker was the long-time host of The PTL Club before spending several years in prison after being convicted of 24 counts of wire and mail fraud for swindling millions of dollars from his viewers. Bakker was initially sentenced to 45 years in prison, but that sentence was reduced to eight years and he was paroled after serving fewer than five years. Bakker's attorney at that time was (an interesting tidbit, but most certainly no surprise) Alan Dershowitz.