"Sure, More Than 320,000 Americans Are Dead Because We Did Nothing To Stop The Virus, But Why Obsess On The Negative? We Deregulated Frozen Cherry Pie Filling (Now With More Rat Feces In 2021)!"

"Yeah yeah, more than 320,000 Americans have died of a virus we did nothing to stop,
okay, whatever, but we have been busy doing super-duper important things!"

Today, after a yearlong process that produced hundreds of submissions and research involving space professionals and members of the general public, we can finally share with you the name by which we will be known: Guardians. pic.twitter.com/Tmlff4LKW6

— United States Space Force (@SpaceForceDoD) December 18, 2020

The opportunity to name a force is a momentous responsibility. Guardians is a name with a long history in space operations, tracing back to the original command motto of Air Force Space Command in 1983, “Guardians of the High Frontier.”

— United States Space Force (@SpaceForceDoD) December 18, 2020

The name Guardians connects our proud heritage and culture to the important mission we execute 24/7, protecting the people and interest of the U.S. and its allies.

— United States Space Force (@SpaceForceDoD) December 18, 2020

Guardians. #SemperSupra!

— United States Space Force (@SpaceForceDoD) December 18, 2020

Really?

It took an entire fucking year to come up with "Guardians". You might think everyone involved with this nonsense is an irredeemable moron. You'd be right. They stole the logo idea from Star Trek and they stole the name from the Air Force. being generous, that's maybe 15 minutes of work. They likely spent the remaining 364 days, 23 hours, and 45 minutes, figuring out how many millions of taxpayers dollars they were getting in "consulting fees".

Oh, and don't forget the essential work done to allow mega-rich corporations to increase profits by putting more rat feces in frozen pie fillings. #AmericaFirst!

BREAKING. NEW PROPOSED RULE: Thanks to the hard work of my FDA team in 2018, the Federal government will no longer be regulating the contents of frozen cherry pie. The American people are free add extra fruit, sugar, and make the crust especially thick. https://t.co/8iibxK3miN pic.twitter.com/NuIUc5d64F

— Scott Gottlieb, MD (@ScottGottliebMD) December 17, 2020

Uh, the “American People” could always do whatever the hell they wanted with purchased Frozen Cherry Pies.

You just made it easier for CORPORATIONS to sell pies filled with god knows what, that are alll crust & crap with no real cherries.

Wow, what a “win.” 🙄

— Jamie Hall (@JamieHallMusic) December 17, 2020

So you mean Sara Lee can add more chemicals and non-cherry fruit to their already sub-par version of "pie"? At least that will stop the 3000 related pie deaths a day I guess.

— GangofGreenhorns #GeneralStrike (@GangofH) December 17, 2020

Truly draconian stuff, here. Good thing the humble bakers making frozen cherry pies (which is the only product this applies to) won't have to kowtow to such fiendish rules as "25% of the filling by weight must be actual cherries". pic.twitter.com/qzr1yjx0s8

— Ted Mielczarek (@TedMielczarek) December 17, 2020

Ah yes this is the life changing action I need pic.twitter.com/1ePbfLxqIL

— The Guillotine Shouter (@guillotineshout) December 17, 2020

Grifters & Fuckers

“The President has checked out completely” pic.twitter.com/LA7nbpC1uI

— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) December 18, 2020

It sure doesn't look good to set up a massive slush fund to secretively pay your family members out of campaign fundshttps://t.co/VX8YtUgj7c

— Citizens for Ethics (@CREWcrew) December 18, 2020

Lara Trump and John Pence were board members and named on drafts of the incorporation papers for the secretive LLC that had more than $700 million* flow through it.

*correcting number from since-deleted tweethttps://t.co/1n5tOFIhZt

— Shane Goldmacher (@ShaneGoldmacher) December 18, 2020

#DonaldTrump raised 250 Million+ dollars for his election "fight". He promised to give any remaining cash back to his supporters and....HAHA nah he put that in his pocket and said "so long suckers!"
Trump's Future: Tons of Cash https://t.co/sT5g1sGFiA via @Yahoo

— The Voice Of Reason (@portarican_RT) December 18, 2020

3 years ago Ron Johnson (R-Moscow) voted for the ultra wealthy to write off private jets and yachts as a tax deduction.

Today, he stood in the way for the rest of America to get $1,200 for those making under $75,000.

That, my friends, is the literal definition of a “Fucker”.

— YS (@NYinLA2121) December 18, 2020

This is why “Amazon jobs” aren’t it & we should instead focus our public investments + incentives on small businesses, public infrastructure, & worker cooperatives that actually support dignified life.

A “job” that leaves you homeless & on food stamps isn’t a job. It’s a scam. https://t.co/l7fAew7UCl

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) December 18, 2020

Yes, Laura, we know for sure it was Russia because Trump is silent on the subject. Dead giveaway. No pun intented. https://t.co/bJAOhGIL2f

— Paulette Feeney (@PauletteParis1) December 18, 2020

Brian Williams's Sense Of Humor Cannot Get Any Drier

Tonight's #LastThingBeforeWeGo? Need some fish oil? DOCTOR Gorka knows what brand is best. Need some cigars? Tell 'em Rudy sent ya.

Learn more: https://t.co/tgSkcC44iQ#11thHour pic.twitter.com/6Q3DVPe4XW

— 11th Hour (@11thHour) December 18, 2020

MSNBC's Brian Williams criticizes GOP lawmakers backing Texas lawsuit: These are "grown ass men and women" https://t.co/mC3gKI2Ujz pic.twitter.com/FrpS7CYS8g

— The Hill (@thehill) December 11, 2020

Brian Williams discusses the Trump admin. loosening restrictions on water pressure while the coronavirus pandemic continues to surge across the US:

"Would we have 300,000 dead if he’d been this diligent, this persistent, about our uncontrolled pandemic?" https://t.co/LZh1rRQqNh

— MSNBC (@MSNBC) December 18, 2020