"Listen, I'm Telling You For The 0.01th Time!"

For the 1/100th time, the reason we show so many Cases, compared to other countries that haven’t done nearly as well as we have, is that our TESTING is much bigger and better. We have tested 40,000,000 people. If we did 20,000,000 instead, Cases would be half, etc. NOT REPORTED!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 9, 2020

I guess fractions weren't on the SATs in the 1960s.

— NC Vates (@NCVates) July 9, 2020

They were. The person he paid to take the SAT would be a better president.

— FlagLovingPatriot#America🇺🇲 (@tullianum) July 9, 2020

You just know that if he had a way to raise infection/death rates in other countries to make our numbers look better, he'd totally do that.

— Geewhipped (@geewhipped) July 9, 2020

If 40,000,000 women were pregnant but only 20,000,000 got a pregnancy test, how many women are pregnant? https://t.co/HBsqGUgzB8

— YS (@NYinLA2121) July 9, 2020

If those people had simply refused to be tested, they never would have gotten sick and died.

I eat 25,000 calories a day, but I'm in perfect shape, because I don't weigh myself.

Cover up the gas gauge readout on your car and you'll never have to refill the tank.

Once the police stop arresting people, crime will no longer exist.

If we get rid of all the world's thermometers, there will be very few hot days (if any) and climate change will not be an issue.

...

How old are kids when they first realize that covering their eyes doesn't actually make their parents vanish? ... Donald Trump's brain stopped evolving one day before that.